Does your heart or head make your decisions?
I feel this week I have had so many reminders to follow my heart rather than my head. It has been a painful but a valuable reminder.
Head vs Heart
Back in my corporate days, I learned that to justify my decisions, I had to have facts, figures, and evidence to back them up. If I’d ever said, “but it felt right”, I’d have been laughingly dismissed… maybe even literally dismissed!
Following Your Heart
I remember my husband justifying the fact that he’d not proposed in the 6 years we’d been together because I could not come up with a better reason than “I wanted to”. Don’t worry, it was done jokingly and a few months later he took me for a romantic picnic next to the lakes. Attaching a diamond ring to our fur baby’s collar, he finally proposed! That was 14 years ago to the day! So obviously he followed his heart and it was the right decision.
Women more willing to follow their heart
As demonstrated around my marriage proposal, I’m not sure if it something men resist or it’s that women are open in admitting the head is not a great judge of life. But I notice on this subject, this is different in men to women. Although saying that, I also notice women resisting following their hearts, often when in a male dominated environment. Something I can relate to from my days in the telecoms industry.
Should we listen to our hearts?
What is the right answer? Is our heart right or should we balance it with our head? Let me ask you a question. What made you buy your house or if you rent, why did you choose that one? Obviously, price plays a part in the decision. But think about the choices you had but decided against. If you are anything like me, the decision was made almost completely by your heart. I can say this with experience having physically looked at 50 houses on our last house search! Many ticked the boxes, but only one made us want to buy it. In fact, our home did not tick all the boxes, but it “felt” right. For the majority, the biggest purchases of our lives are decided on by our hearts.
The Blink of an eye
Malcolm Gladwell described how many of our opinions are made in the blink of an eye in his aptly named book “Blink”. He also talks about how accurate those decisions are. I remember an example of an expert recognising a very good fake in just a few seconds.
When I should have listened to my heart
I remember when I first started my chocolate business, I was approached by a baker “to connect”. We met for coffee and she told me about a business opportunity. The questions she asked put me on edge. My head told me it was an exciting opportunity, but my heart was telling me something didn’t feel right. Time past and as any good businessperson does, I followed up. Only to find that I had been right all along, the baker had questioned me to enable her to make chocolates. I learned a lesson at that point. I was pretty accurate about assessing people and situations and vowed to listen to my heart above head in the future. Since then following my heart has led me to lead a truly abundant life.
Follow your heart and let the money follow
A common question I ask client is what they love doing. It is such an important discussion when supporting someone to create their successful business and life. I often ponder the question “Do you enjoy something you are good at or are you good at it because you enjoy it?”. I guess it is a bit like “what came first, the chicken or the egg”. It doesn’t really matter, which is right. It is about the whole. Doing what you enjoy/are good at, means that you will do whatever it is, well. Swimming against the tide, is only going to make you tired. Running a business is hard, you need to enjoy what you are doing to be able to get through those bumpy times. Demotivation happens to the best of us and when that happens, we need to reconnect with our “why” … why we are doing it. If that does not light us up, then regaining that mojo is going to be even harder! Do what you love first, and the money will follow…. If it doesn’t, then we need to look at your money blocks and that is a whole separate blog! Following the money and/the ego will make the business journey so much more difficult… I can say that from personal experience, but again that is another blog!
To have a successful business and the life you dream of, you need to listen to your heart above your head.