The story I keep returning to

You may have seen my post over the weekend about the sudden “reset your password” emails from Facebook. Years ago, that kind of thing would have hijacked my whole day, panic clicks, frantic messages, adrenaline running the show. Now, after years of practising this work, I meet it differently. I breathe out longer than I breathe in, I read slowly, I choose once, and I carry on.

I’m not sharing a shiny new breakthrough. I’m showing what practice creates. Because this is what I teach: be her first; success follows. The reason so many brilliant business owners feel like they’re “missing something” isn’t a lack of strategy. It’s imbalance. We’ve been conditioned to run on masculine energy (speed, output, productivity, optimisation) and to treat feminine energy (presence, intuition, collaboration, receiving, rhythm) as optional, or worse, weak. It’s not. It’s the foundation that lets everything else work. This is feminine leadership in business.

Time to flip the script: why feminine leadership in business matters

Want to understand the feminine and masculine energy traits? Read: Feminine & Masculine Energy Traits in Business (overview of what they look like day to day).

This isn’t about gender; it’s about function. Everyone has access to both energies.

• Feminine energy is your internal compass: presence in the body, intuitive sensing, receiving ideas/feedback, honouring rhythm.

• Masculine energy is your container: structure, selection, process, protection, pace.

It’s time to let the feminine lead

1. Let the feminine set direction and pace.
   Regulate first. Ask: What’s true for me today? What season am I in? What boundary does my body need?
   This gives you a felt north star instead of a noisy to-do list.

2. Ask the masculine to build the container.
   Turn that truth into one clean line and a humane plan: clear scope and standards, time allocated, and a simple way to measure “done”.

3. Keep them in conversation.
   If your body tightens, listen and soften the plan. If your plan is foggy, firm the edges. Presence leads; process supports.

Why this order matters: You can push through without sleep, but decisions get messy, mistakes creep in, and everything takes longer and feels harder. It’s the same with breaks. A cuppa, a short walk, a holiday. Without rhythmic space you become less effective, not more. We’ve been taught to do it backwards, to work for the break, instead of seeing the break as what supports the work. Ever notice how a week off, or even one day doing something else, tiggers a flood of brilliant ideas out of nowhere? That’s what happens when you give feminine energy space to lead; clarity finds you.

Masculine builds. Feminine leads. When presence decides and process supports, work gets calmer, and results compound.

Why you lost touch with your feminine (and how to flip the script)

From school to adulthood we were assessed on attendance and output. In the UK, parents are told anything under 90% attendance is unacceptable, context be damned. Work rewarded hours at a desk, not cycles or capability. Online, the loudest voices point at vanity metrics and conversion charts as proof of worth. I even heard a coach recently say that your business should be more important than your child’s birthday.

When worth is tied to what you do, your body does what bodies do under pressure: it braces.

Bracing looks like chasing busyness so you don’t have to feel, calling it “productivity” while avoiding the truth.
It looks like buying the next “exact strategy” and comparing yourself into paralysis.
It looks like outsourcing your power, hoping an expert, a course, or even ChatGPT will hand you your answer, so you can say it wasn’t you, it was the offer, the algorithm, the audience.

This may sound harsh, but it’s said with love, from someone who has been there.

Here’s the reframe: you already carry immense power. You are the one who remembers the uniforms, the dentist, the dog’s worming tablets; you hold the logistics, the standards, the care. You are already the CEO of your home, a living system with budgets, timelines, stakeholder needs, and crisis management. That counts. That capacity belongs in your business plan, not just your kitchen.

Flip the script: let feminine energy lead (presence, rhythm, receiving); ask masculine energy to serve (structure, process, proof). The feminine chooses what matters now; the masculine makes it work in the world.

Chaos isn’t a badge of honour (why calm wins)

We’ve normalised chaos: sprinting, juggling, apologising, wearing “busy” like a trophy. That’s not leadership; that’s adrenaline. Life is for living, not rushing to the end. Feminine energy doesn’t remove challenges, it changes how you meet them.

From calm, you respond instead of react.
You hold your boundary kindly.
You make one good move instead of ten frantic ones.
And your results compound because you’re still resourced tomorrow.

Empowering truth: Masculine energy is brilliant when you’re working in your business; if you want your next level, you must lead with the feminine.
Let the feminine decide; let the masculine deliver.

The cadence of leadership: Regulate → Choose → Receive

This isn’t a hack. It’s a rhythm to live by in decisions, content, delivery, sales and team.

1. Regulate
   Let your body go first. One minute of longer exhales (in for four, out for six or eight). Feel your feet. Quiet line: “I’m safe to lead.” The aim isn’t perfection; it’s enough calm to hear yourself.

2. Choose
   From that steadier place, make one decision. Not ten, one.
   “For 30 days I serve this offer to this person.”
   “Max X clients in this container.”
   “Three posts a week and one live.”
   “Replies within X hours; scope is Y.”
   Write it as a single sentence—no qualifiers.

3. Receive
   Hold space for the choice you just made.
   Three breaths of silence after you make an invite.
   Ten-minute buffers between calls.
   A weekly white-space block for CEO time, creativity, or actual rest.
   Receiving is not passive; it’s what allows actions to take root.

Here’s proof that you are ready to lead with your feminine power

A tiny practice: your body’s “yes” and “no”

1. Sit with feet flat on the floor. Close your eyes.

2. Take three slow breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.

3. Say (aloud or in your head): “Yes, yes, yes.”
   Notice: What do you feel? Where? How does it feel? Any colour or shape? That’s a yes in your body.

4. Open your eyes, look around, give your body a shake.

5. Close your eyes again. Three breaths. Say: “No, no, no.” (a true “no” you don’t want).
   Notice the cues. That’s a no in your body.

Now when a collaboration is offered, a client asks to change terms, a new idea arrives, or a supplier pushes back, you can listen to your system. You know. No need to outsource your power ever again.

When proving stops (and calm authority begins)

Dysregulation makes your brain try to earn safety by complicating things: more slides, more justifications, more bonuses. Your words trip, your stomach knots and—even though you know your work changes lives, you feel like you must convince.

Leading with regulation flips it:

• Your messaging becomes bolder because you stand firm in your identity.

• You speak simply and steadily about your work, timelines and boundaries, because your body isn’t begging for permission. People feel safe to decide.

• You invite, you don’t push: “Here’s what I’m offering; here’s who it’s for. Would you like the link?” Then you leave space. That space honours you and your buyer.

We’re not centring pricing; we’re centring presence. Pricing, sales and delivery all get easier because you are steadier.

What changes when you re-centre the feminine

Decisions become easier and quicker. You feel in charge of your choices and identity, so your messaging sharpens. You attract the right clients and stop accepting work that isn’t aligned, which makes boundaries easier to hold.

Life becomes calmer because you create space with purpose. You get more done in less time because your focus is clean. You speak from sufficiency, so selling feels like offering, not proving. People feel that steadiness; they want to be around it. Because a calm, confident personality is magnetic!

If you like frameworks, this is how it rolls up in my work:
Rewire the patterns → Reset your nervous system → Rebuild simple, aligned structures → Rise as the version of you who already leads this way.

Embody Her Now: a gentle invitation for today

Choose one line to live by for the next 30 days:

• A capacity line: “I work 10am-3pm, Monday to Friday.”

• A focus line: “One offer this month.”

• A creative line: “A protected 60-minute block every Tuesday.”

• A boundary line: “No same-day yes to new commitments.”

Then run the cadence: Regulate → Choose → Receive.
Notice how your voice and calendar begin to match.

Want support while you shift?

If you’re ready to stop outsourcing your power, re-centre feminine energy and build structures that truly support you, I’d love to help.

Book a Deep Dive - a focused 2-hour intensive where we regulate, decide and map your next clean steps for offers, systems and visibility. You’ll leave with humane boundaries, a simple plan and the steadier body to hold it.

👉 https://www.samanthajaneslater.com/deepdive?utm_source=blog&utm_medium=owned&utm_campaign=november_wa&utm_content=embody_her_now

Recommended Reading

1. Do Less — Kate Northrup
   Practical, business-friendly guide to cyclical planning and capacity. Great for translating feminine energy into calendars, projects, and launches.

2. Burnout — Emily & Amelia Nagoski
   Science-backed explanation of the stress cycle + how to complete it. Perfect companion to “Regulate → Choose → Receive” and preventing adrenaline-led leadership.

3. Anchored — Deb Dana
   Clear, gentle intro to Polyvagal Theory with exercises to create nervous-system safety. Ideal for building body-led presence you can actually hold in sales and delivery.

4. Rest Is Resistance — Tricia Hersey (The Nap Ministry)
   A bold cultural reframe: rest as liberation, not laziness. Helps unhook from hustle conditioning and honour capacity without guilt.

5. Essentialism — Greg McKeown
   The masculine container: choose less, but better. Use it to back your feminine-led choices with clean scope, boundaries, and execution.

Bonus (archetypal depth): Women Who Run With the Wolves — Clarissa Pinkola Estés. Myth and story to reclaim intuition and creative wildness; beautiful for messaging and voice.